Tag: music

I’m Not Your SuperWoman: Black Women Need Real Friends

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L to R: My real friend, Shemiah; My broke bestie, Haley;

I love my friends. My real friends. The ones who will drop everything and fly down to lay eyes on me kind of friends. These are the kind of friends that Black women need. Black women need the kind of friends that can hear in your voice that you’re not ok for real.

I know this because I’ve definitely been the friend who rarely tells people that the stress I’m under is taking me out. The past few years I’ve learned to be more open and honest about how I’m feeling and what I need. That has been helpful to my newer friends in understanding me and I think it has helped them to open up about their own lives as well.

So many people talk about the “Strong Black Woman” archetype. We all know that it is a farce. Women in other races aren’t posed with an idea of what they should be able to endure as an every day badge of honor. But Black women, we are supposed to bear the children, lead in the workplace, overcome all adversity, beat illness and disease all while looking fine and staying moisturized! We know it’s time out for that. We know we can’t do it all. Matter of fact, we don’t want to do it all. But we often find ourselves in situations where we are the ones picking up the pieces.

Black women are the most educated minority. We make less money than most while doing the same work if not more. We are less likely to be married or partnered, more likely to be the breadwinners, and more likely to still live below the poverty line. There’s a lot of things coming at us, so when we’re not okay, we need our people to at least say a prayer and let us know that they’re thinking of us.

If you’re not the friend who is able to hop on a plane (because resources and time are limited…didn’t I just say we we have degrees but our funds don’t match?) or drive to visit your girl who is struggling then drop her a voice text, send her a card, shoot CashApp the bestie $10 for coffee/treats, pick up the phone and let her know she’s not alone.

That’s right, call your friend right now and tell her that she’s amazing but if she’s not feeling amazing that’s ok. Give her some encouraging words. But most importantly, listen. Listen to what’s going on with her, pray with her, hear her, sit in the silence and the tears with her. Let her know she’s not in this thing alone. Because Black women need real friends. Friends who will take a moment to really check in. Friends who will be vulnerable. Friends who don’t expect perfection, or strength, just humanity.

Black women need real friends.

How are you showing up as a friend?

Lament 23: A Psalm 23 Re-write because nothing makes sense

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Lament 23 – Jasmine Katrice Version (JKV)

1 The Lord is my shepherd – but sometimes my needs aren’t met

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters – but somehow, I don’t feel peace

3 He restoreth my soul: Only to lead me into darker paths for his name’s sake – a lot of people do a lot of things in your name and a lot of those things have harmed us and caused irreparable damage.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear all the evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me – but will they protect me?

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies – I’m afraid to sit down. Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over with fear.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life but it will never catch up to me and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever at the hands of the evil walking, living and breathing in a world you created.

Dear God, what are you gonna do about this?

It’s all about the M’s!

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I know you’re thinking “What is she talking about now?” Okay, just keep reading.

There are some things that I may need to clarify for a few of you. This blog is not just an attempt to work through what’s happening in the world. It’s my way of tightening the lens on the things that really matter to me most. It will tell the truth, make you laugh, make you think and occasionally – you might just roll your eyes. I’m ok with that because this blog and my brand, JasSings, is focused on the things that are at the center of my life. The M’s!

#Millennialhood: I was born in 1988. I’m a 31 year old Black woman living in America…everything I do has something to do with my perspective on the world based on my life experiences in this day and time. Love it or hate it, but it sure does make for good commentary!

#Music: I love music. I love how words come together with melodies and harmonies, rhythms and sounds to create masterpieces. Music feeds my soul and singing heals me. So, I’ll write about music, songs, and musical ideas as it relates to my culture and what’s happening in the world. It’s a major part of how I’ve been able to evolve over the years.

#Ministry: In case you didn’t know, I’m a rising 3rd year (last year like law school) Divinity School Student. I am currently an Inquirer within the Presbyterian Church USA denomination, which means I’m working towards ordination. Ministering through song led me on this path and I have been fighting this ministry thing for a long time. Eventually, I just gave up. I got tired of God visiting me in my dreams and leaving me cryptic messages! This blog will talk about what it’s like doing ministry.

#Motherhood: This topic is simple and complex. It covers what it means to be a mama in the 21st century AND it will intersect with what it’s like to be a music-loving millennial, and future clergymama. My womanhood is wrapped up in there somewhere too and I’m looking forward to teasing it out just a little bit more every time I write, whether it’s done explicitly or not.

Finally, this blog will talk about…

#Money: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m not trying to make money off of this blog but let’s be real – we live in a capitalist society. A lot of what we do everyday, includes or requires money. It would be a shame to miss the opportunity to discuss money and all of the ways it slips through our fingers! We have to do better! Well maybe I’m just talking about myself. 🤷🏾‍♀️ It’s not all about the money, but money will pop up here and there.

So there we have it! It’s about the M’s!

The Soundtrack to the Rollercoaster of Life

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There are a lot of things that are on my heart today. So many emotions and reactions have passed through this body of mine, that it reminded me of movie soundtracks. If you think about your favorite movie and it’s best moments, you will notice that many of those moments are accompanied by music; Music that matches or elevates the message of the moment. In these moments, the music can often make or break a scene. Have you ever thought about what an apology scene would sound like with horror music? Or what an action packed, fight to the finish scene would sound like with Gospel music? Your emotions would be all over the place right?!?

In the same way that movie producers and music directors work to create memorable scenes for their audiences, God has given us words and promises that correlate with the events in our lives. In times of self-doubt God reminds us that we are His handiwork, created in God’s own image (Ephesians 2:10). When you are having a hard time being obedient and accepting correction you can sing the tune of Hebrews 12:11 (NRSV) “Now, discipline always seems painful rather than pleasant at the time but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” Even on the days where the scenes of life have you anxious and feeling overwhelmed you can replay Philippians 4:6 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” There is indeed a song of scripture for every scene in your life. In the moments where your inner soundtrack or the music of others doesn’t match the scenes in your life, you can trust that God has a song of promise, hope and love for you to play. Pick up his word and let the music play over you and become imbedded in your heart.

I can’t wait to see the finished scenes of your movie.